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This is the final part in a series about my journey with infertility.
***Disclaimer: I'm getting down and dirty with my journey of infertility and the process involved. I will be using anatomical terms, sex and bodily fluids in my descriptions. Basically I want to paint as real of a picture as I can. If it's not something you think you can handle, I suggest you stop reading now.***
I left off saying that I was given instructions that I would have to be on bed rest for the next 3 days. Their definition of bed rest meant, no more than 1 flights of stairs per day, and less than 15 minutes of walking around per day. This was really hard for me. I'm a stir crazy person, so 3 days without moving...torture. After the 3 days, starts the dreaded 2 week wait. In 2 weeks time I would be able to take a pregnancy test to see if it worked. I had to wait to weeks because pregnancy test are actually testing for hCG in the blood, and since I had given myself the shot before the ER it could produce a false positive if I took it earlier than that. During those 2 weeks, I swear I was feeling funny in my abdomen and I swore I was more tired and thirsty than normal. I had built all of this up so much that I was certain it has worked and I was pregnant.
I got the okay to start running again during the 2 week wait I was told to run very slowly because they didn't want me to "shake things up" down there. 2 days before I was scheduled to go in for my pregnancy test, I started bleeding. I was so completely devastated! That whole time I convinced myself it had worked, that I was one of the 37% of women who got pregnant the first time. I was so upset that day, I went out on a 6 mile run with a friend, and I gave it all I had. I ran like I was racing, I just kept telling myself there was no point to slow down, it didn't work anyway. By the end of the run I was gasping for air and ready to burst into tears. When I got home, I told Max the news that I had started my period and I lost it. I started crying uncontrollably. I thought it had worked, what was wrong with me? I felt bad because Max was trying to console me, but I was inconsolable. I cried myself to sleep that night.
The next day I continued to mope around, but I was no longer crying. I went to work with the happiest face I could muster and somehow made it through the day. When I got home, it occurred to me that I hadn't bled at all that day (which is rare for me as my first 3 days of my period are very heavy). I had told a co-worker that the IVF didn't work because I started to bleed and that meant my period was starting. She mentioned that it could be implantation bleeding. I Googled implantation bleeding and I tried to keep my hopes down this time. I didn't want to fool myself into thinking the IVF worked. Even though I still had to wait until the next day to take the blood pregnancy test, I went out and bought a pregnancy test. I took it got a big fat positive (BFP). As excited as I was, I still was wary that the hCG from the shot could still be floating around in there.
The blood pregnancy test I took the next day was a 2 part series. The first, a baseline test, would test the level of hCG in my blood and then I would go back in in 3 days and take another test and they would compare the levels of my first test, to my second test. If the second test showed a higher amount of hCG in my blood, the test was positive. The day I took the second blood pregnancy test, I got the call from my doctor, that I was in fact pregnant. I cannot even begin to explain the joy, relief and fear that set in. I was so happy to be one of the 37% that got pregnant on their very first try. I was excited that I was finally going to get to become a mother, and I was also terrified that I was going to become a mother.
Since I got the BFP I continued running and exercising. My doctor said exercise wouldn't cause an automatic miscarriage. I have definitely taken it a lot easier since I found out though...just in case.
If you missed it, you can read the previous parts in the series by clicking the links below.
Part 1, Clomid and Ultrasounds
Part 2, Intrauterine Insemination (IUI)
Part 3, In Vitro Fertilization
***Disclaimer: I'm getting down and dirty with my journey of infertility and the process involved. I will be using anatomical terms, sex and bodily fluids in my descriptions. Basically I want to paint as real of a picture as I can. If it's not something you think you can handle, I suggest you stop reading now.***
I left off saying that I was given instructions that I would have to be on bed rest for the next 3 days. Their definition of bed rest meant, no more than 1 flights of stairs per day, and less than 15 minutes of walking around per day. This was really hard for me. I'm a stir crazy person, so 3 days without moving...torture. After the 3 days, starts the dreaded 2 week wait. In 2 weeks time I would be able to take a pregnancy test to see if it worked. I had to wait to weeks because pregnancy test are actually testing for hCG in the blood, and since I had given myself the shot before the ER it could produce a false positive if I took it earlier than that. During those 2 weeks, I swear I was feeling funny in my abdomen and I swore I was more tired and thirsty than normal. I had built all of this up so much that I was certain it has worked and I was pregnant.
I got the okay to start running again during the 2 week wait I was told to run very slowly because they didn't want me to "shake things up" down there. 2 days before I was scheduled to go in for my pregnancy test, I started bleeding. I was so completely devastated! That whole time I convinced myself it had worked, that I was one of the 37% of women who got pregnant the first time. I was so upset that day, I went out on a 6 mile run with a friend, and I gave it all I had. I ran like I was racing, I just kept telling myself there was no point to slow down, it didn't work anyway. By the end of the run I was gasping for air and ready to burst into tears. When I got home, I told Max the news that I had started my period and I lost it. I started crying uncontrollably. I thought it had worked, what was wrong with me? I felt bad because Max was trying to console me, but I was inconsolable. I cried myself to sleep that night.
The next day I continued to mope around, but I was no longer crying. I went to work with the happiest face I could muster and somehow made it through the day. When I got home, it occurred to me that I hadn't bled at all that day (which is rare for me as my first 3 days of my period are very heavy). I had told a co-worker that the IVF didn't work because I started to bleed and that meant my period was starting. She mentioned that it could be implantation bleeding. I Googled implantation bleeding and I tried to keep my hopes down this time. I didn't want to fool myself into thinking the IVF worked. Even though I still had to wait until the next day to take the blood pregnancy test, I went out and bought a pregnancy test. I took it got a big fat positive (BFP). As excited as I was, I still was wary that the hCG from the shot could still be floating around in there.
The blood pregnancy test I took the next day was a 2 part series. The first, a baseline test, would test the level of hCG in my blood and then I would go back in in 3 days and take another test and they would compare the levels of my first test, to my second test. If the second test showed a higher amount of hCG in my blood, the test was positive. The day I took the second blood pregnancy test, I got the call from my doctor, that I was in fact pregnant. I cannot even begin to explain the joy, relief and fear that set in. I was so happy to be one of the 37% that got pregnant on their very first try. I was excited that I was finally going to get to become a mother, and I was also terrified that I was going to become a mother.
Since I got the BFP I continued running and exercising. My doctor said exercise wouldn't cause an automatic miscarriage. I have definitely taken it a lot easier since I found out though...just in case.
If you missed it, you can read the previous parts in the series by clicking the links below.
Part 1, Clomid and Ultrasounds
Part 2, Intrauterine Insemination (IUI)
Part 3, In Vitro Fertilization
Oh my goodness. My heart broke for you. I’ve been there and through the struggle but I didn’t have to have IVF. My sister in law has had three IUI’s and is now needing to do IVF. It’s sad how many people struggle these days.
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